sliced brown bread dipped in mulligatawney

Lately I've been receiving art reviews by SMS! how cool is that?

The above was about the entries for the paddo art prize. the writer described the winner as "the same with a garnish of parsley"

I take this person's judgement to be FACT - so, err, yeah, there you have it folks.no need to bother making the trip, unless you're a big fan of mulligatawney.

Personally I cant wait to truck on over to Dulwich Hill for "It's Time for a Climate Change". they reckon you can "Come and get your Climate Change Christmas, birthday and wedding gifts, or, something special for that impending baby shower at DON'T LOOK GALLERY from 22 Nov - 3 Dec 2006.

Are you waiting in eager anticipation for climatic shifts ahead? Can't wait for that rising tide of apathy to wash us out to sea? Neither can Brendan Penzer.

Penzer, artist and social ecologist, has set-up shop in Don't Look Experimental New Media Gallery for a two-week clearance sale; mementos, knickknacks and a range of life's essential contemporary survival items - it's all got to go! Come and celebrate our present social, political and environmental climate by spending your swelling mortgage payments on things that 'really' matter.

Direct from Cronulla we have white picket fences that have been ripped from their moorings. These 'self-de-fence pickets' make great paddles for when tides start to rise, make bonza spades to dig holes in which to stick our heads, and (when all else fails) we can come out swinging against anyone who looks different or talks funny.

Also on sale, some lovely (soon to be) relics, including bottles of water from our once great flowing rivers and some rare clean air samples from last century (including an exquisite 1988 bi-centenary vintage). 'What an investment!' Don't wait to pay $$$ on ebay!

Still want more ...? You won't be disappointed with our great selection of fashion items. We have some very stylish red-neck rashies; guaranteed to ward off both skin cancer, and undesirables. Or there's the 'Bible Belt'. This most essential of items will offer the support you require (homosexuals, women, Muslims and green's voters excepted).

But that's not all! Everything comes with a free set of mis-steak knives! And how much would you expect to pay for all of this stupidity? Don't pay the earth... ...well, yes, actually, the earth will do very nicely...

So get on down to DON'T LOOK for the It's Time for a Climate Change sale."

FOR MORE INFORMATION PLEASE CONTACT GREG SHAPLEY ON 0401 152 434 OR EMAIL dontlookgallery@gmail.com

It's that funny time of year when Sydney gets completely frenzied - art school graduation shows coincide with the 'christmas' shows for most commercial galleries.these involve a mixed bag of works on paper or smaller works by their stables and hangers on - that are meant to be a sort of a 'stocking filler' for the art buying public. I guess it beats late night shopping.....

So early december is a big sweaty frenzy of hastily pulled together group shows - that are more about the show than the group - and lashings of free piss, and sweaty drunken crowds, with the odd canape.....

and then in a couple of weeks it all dies down. Art schools close for a few months (unless they're running cash generating summer courses) - and the commercial galleries all close for their xmas holidays - which can run from 4-10 weeks.

Late December and January are pretty mordant times for an art spectator, and pretty lean times for an art critic. DON'T LOOK Gallery are running stuff on December 20th and December 30th - but I haven't heard about anything forthcoming apart from that.

Even the Sydney festival limits the ART part of its ARTS content to plugging some show at the MCA. AGNES has good aircon and free films on wed arvo and night - so I reckon its the place to be.... and if gawking/gaggin at Monica Tichaheks scarey girlie gore shadowers gets too much you can always go and eyeball the preraphaelites and ellioth gruner in the old and empty section, and vow, never again to curse trendy postmodernists and their hold on cultural institutions. think of sydney in january. Lots of cricket and not much art. total total hell. this is why I'm pissing off overseas for the summer. I like to spend january in a black skivvy.

Before the gloom of an endless beige sets in - get out and enjoy the splashing stupidity of the artyparty frenzy!

Here's a choice selection of tidbits:

On Tuesday Legge has their xmas party opening. you can see a selection of their highlights that you may have missed - including JUMAADI, Alan Jones - and hopefully Catherine Hearse - and definitely My Mate Steve.
6-8pm tuesday 28th november at 183 Regent Street Redfern.
Show runs till 9the december, then gallery is closed till 5th feb.

On Wednesday COFA has its big fine arts graduation show. Traditionally it was held on the same night as the NAS graduation show and oxford street was awash with pissed art students and coteries staggering between the two - but they've separated the nights.

so - no excuses for not making both opening nights. (except cirrrhosis). this is the last chance probably to see the two distinct art schools and examine what the hell makes them so different - or similar. ahhh F-block!, F-block! thank you for the memories!

On Thursday NAS has the same thing. ahh! - goon!, sandstone! objets d'art and angsted students! will we ever see you again?

Friday - I forgot what's on.

Saturday - Sheffer Gallery has an opening called SWEET DECEMBER - which opens from 5-7pm and runs till December 23rd.(38 Lander Street Darlo)

Sheffer is a small, but extremely attractive gallery between abercrombie street, redfern and sydney Uni. they've had some really interesting shows by unsnathced up artists with amazing results - shannon Johnston's show being a case in point.
the new show has small paintings by Sandra Winkworth of funny looking BIRDS, plus some larger paintings by HIROMI OZAKI - that look more like linear draiwings of flowers and blossoms. Tres noice. i'm goin for the photos by PAOLA TALBERT, who (in between gigs as paparazzi for Schappylle Scragg) has been working on a series of DROWNING VIRGINS for the past 5 years. Her prints are large floaty sonnets of underwater light, flowing fabric and hair and soft dabbled limbs. right up mayhems alley.

On radio today - i'll gabble more about the stuff I saw last week - especially IT's A NEW DAY - but save the UWS review for my art schools lament next week.