Saturday, January 28, 2006


I've been housebound lately, trying to save money and not splurge on metro tickets out of the burbs and takeaway lunches in the centre of town. its also been so cold that outdoor life is reduced to a frantic scurry between cafes. I think my lips turned blue yesterday. Advantage is that I found a fucking amazing hot chocolate on the boulevarde St. Germain. BouleGerm is the home of scary fucking $10 coffees and loud american tourists tyring to be Simone De Beauvoir, but this place had this fucking amazing melted concotion that was like hot chocolate mousse. and it was only two euros.

Anyway we got a bit stir crazy yesterday so we grabbed the car and drove across the bois de Boulogne. It s big forest where prostitutes do tehir trade. Apparently brothels were made illegal here in the 1970's, and stuck between the bourgie banleiu of St. cloud and the extremeley bourgie 16th arrondissment, it sa great place for Brazilian trannies to score trade. the better sex workers have big trucks in winter parked on the kerb, but I still find it fucking odd.

OK, so we crossed the seine, crossed the forest and found ourselves in the 16th. Most of PAris is pretty much a social mixture, but the sprawling being marble facades of the 16th are a screaming exception. I'm not sure if there's anywhere in Australia that can compare with it, maybe Pymble and Prahan mixed together? All the buildings are the same 5 stoery high topped terraces, but many of them have gates aorund them. There are no sleazy corner shops, and no dodgy cafe/ tabacs. All retail is located on the Grand boulevards. I think everyone is meant to drive 5 minutes to get their brad, but the rest of PAris is made for 80 year old pedestrians who walk their dog and buy their bread each day. In the 16th, the only Africans are pushing prams, wiht white babies in them. I think the pram pushers have uniforms, but its hard to tell under their parkas.

We thought we'd go chekc out the musee marmottan, coz there's a clamilla claudle show and I wanted to see her drawings. Unfortunatley Clamille claudel was made famous from the plays and books produced by her right wing brother Paul. And that movie from the type. Outside the museum there was a gaggle of dead animals and helmet hairsprays. Fear. We pushed past the stench of purfume to the tickets, located near the freezing outdoors, and refusing concessions to students over 25, the une,mployed, the elderley, but allowing tteachers, curators and groups over 20 to get in for 4.5 Eruos. We paid more. Inside, more dead animals and helmets hairdos, and big jewelry and scary makeup. all touching and pushing and cackling absolute shite. Paris seemed so much more sophisticated when I didn't speak the language. Now I know that Spanish touists are just as fatuous as amriecan tourists and french art patrons are just as banal as Australians. frightening. And the scarey fur coat brigade also push up and rub agianst smelly prols like me. I thought I'd arm myself by not washing for a week and carrying some used tampons in my pockets, but helas! didn't work.

So after 2 hours of teeth clenching irritation I went downstairss to the non heated room with Monet's Giverney paitnings. There's one view of the Japanese bridge from 1918-1919 that I think is my favrouite painting in the entire world. Unlike Monet Slide test example No. 57, the colours are DARK, and the strokes aren't knitted together into the characteristic mesh that gives that impresisonist shimmer. The whole thing is covered in a series of abstract gestures, that look like Cy Twombly on a bad hair day,Its not jsut the colours, its not the contours, its not just the shapes. I think its the best example of what oil paint IS. Pure plastic light. but fuck oh fuck they resonate. And they shimmer on the borderline between abstraction and a landscape composition. Elizabeth cummings in Australia skates on the same turf, so does Aida tomescue ON a good day, and there are moments when Craig Waddell (check out his Wynn piece from 05) also hits the mark. Extreme sports paint. I'm haunted by the possibilities........ which is why I then spent 6 hours on a jigsaw puzzle.

Monday, January 23, 2006

art and mayhem, 23 jan 2006

This week on art and mayhem we had live in the studio, artist zanny begg, talking about her exhibition glass half full, currently on show at mori gallery. We shot the breeze about activism, ageing, art, politics and poetics.
Details of her exhibition:
Zanny Begg - Glass Half Full
Opens Wednesday 11 January 2006, 6-8pm
Exhibition: 11 January - 28 January @ Mori Gallery, 168 Day St, Sydney.
Gallery open 11am-6pm Wednesday to Saturday.
Telephone: 9283 290


we previewed the upcoming events as part of the gang festival (

24th Jan Tuesday · 8-11pm
Lvl2, 144 Cleveland St, Chippendale

29th Jan Sunday · 12-9pm - KAMPUNG STREET FESTIVAL
PEACE PARK Myrtle St, Chippendale
The final combustion of all things Gang related in a street level festival and Art Market. Peace Park at the Pine Street Creative Arts Centre marks the central hub of activity on this day which draws people onto the surrounding streets in the name of Seni (ART).

and we recommended you get down to hoyts this wednesday night for video art and big cardboard tubs of popcorn:

Half Dozen presents…
THE LATE SESSIONS: video art at the movies
Opening night: Wednesday, 25 January, 2006; Screenings at 9pm and 10:30pm
Hoyts Cinemas, George St, Sydney $5 tix pre-sold at 1/2doz openings

til next week...

Monday, January 16, 2006

2ser art and mayhem this week

today on the show
we talked about

stickybricks, the sydney festival event at the northcott housing estate in surry hills. see

the gang festival: the taring padi show at the pine st community centre:

and the launch of the space 3 new book (launched at china heights gallery)

and we played a few more ken nordine songs: "flesh" and "olive" as well as a track from rohan lee called "father god".

we miss you mayhem!!


and now, back to the north

I've just scoffed a microwaved plate of the national dish of France so with a full belly my brain is a bit fuzzy.

Generally its greeat to be in a place where the news broadcast has 10 minutes of news about the latest film releases and NONE on sport. I kid you not! and its a completely Nicole Kidman free zone.

Ahem. I'm meant to be writing about Art;

OK this week I ventured out of the burbs and caught the last day of the Dada show at the Pompidou centre. the queues were huge but it was open till 10pm so I thought I'd be able to take it in...... but o golly.......

I reckon now that every single avante garde moment in éàth C art had its origins in Dada. Funky zines, eveyrthing fluxus. poem trees, minimalism, qrtepovera and grungy clunky cobra. It was all there with every scrap of correspondence. postcards, coaster, serviettes. Mad poems like

A rose is born from shit and sunshine
I love roses

and somewhere in a manifesto.....

It is obscene that art should cost more than a saucison (dried french sausage)

Very glad I could read french for that one.

the only thing that oculd do justice to this was a 10kg, $300 book about Dada. but the show was biggger than ben hur and so mcuh more intense than the famous pissoir of R. Mutt..........

while in the mood for blockbusters, I decded to take a friend to the gRande Palais for the melancholie show. She saw the quee and collapsed and had to be taken to shopital in an ambulance. Lucky her travel insurance covered culturel shock.

2 days again, armed with thermal underwear and a thermois we managed to brave the cold. éhours in a queue at 4 degrees. Ya gotta love PAris. and more dead animals and helmet haired ladies than you could poke a stick at. Fortunatley none of them pushed in in front of us...... Scary old PArisian bourgeousie dames are pretty full on in the Chutzpah department.........

The melancholie show was pro,oted on TV (again on the news for 5 minutes!) in a really kitsch way - showing lots of cheesy old oil pâinitngs and then clothed models posing beside them in prett tragic versions of Rodins thinker. IN a black skivvy, wiht a commentary from a psychologist about the link betzeen genius and madness. This levle of cheese brought the punter sin by the hoards. unlike the Louvre, very few spoke ENglish either. Imagine a Eruopean gallery wiht no du,b americans but full of Dumb parisians. Again the curse of the furr lined bags. Pushing in front of people just to tlak on their phone really loudly. There are reasons why I only bathe once a week and live on a diet of cabbages when I'm here.

Anywy I was there for the Bosch. It showed a guy bending over with his head in a bag, with a funnell stuck up his arse and swallows flying out. Another guy hatching from an egg was taking aim with a bow and arrow!

Another highglight was the really cheesy jeff koons style enamelled ceramic cherub, reclining on a skull. It was called Jesus.

This was a prelude to the freaky arrangements of the skeletons of fotesus in really cheesy allagories of death. Imagine if the right to lifers got hold of this! really really weird shit. Definitely made the hypothermia experience worthwhile.

Art and Mayhem in HTML


Below is the unedited transcript of Lucasses summary of mondays show.

For more info on Ken Nordine check out:
interesting stuff...

"In the USA Ken Nordine has been a well known vioce on many radio broadcasts and commercials. His rich, deep tones are perfect radio fodder. On this album he combines what he discribes as 'word jazz' with an eclectic mixture of musical arrangements provided by Dick Cambell and a small group of musicians. Each track has the title of a different color ( colour ) and evokes that colors essence by clever use of rhyme, rhythm and tone."

12th Jan Thursday · 6-9pm - FESTIVAL OPENING
Pine Street Creative Arts Centre
64 Pine St Chippendale
Sideslip from the mainstream into the premiere of Gang!
Our opening exhibition features Taring Padi ("teeth of the rice plant"), a progressive peoples' artistic collective from Yogyakarta, Central Java. From woodcuts to large scale mural installations, their work embraces community and arts in a variety of contexts. Bringing together for the first time in Sydney, Taring Padi's passionate collective imagery as well as many outstanding individual works.
and we did a little critique of tony oursler's blue invasion in hyde park as part of sydney festival.

Blue invasion in hyde park
Hyde Park North
When January 7-24 after dark
see also
from the sydney festival press release:
something’s wrong. Something’s happening in the park. Some sort of disturbance; some sort of interference. Something or someone has landed - a visitor or visitors from another place.
Is this a connection or just interference? What are those people doing? Who are they? Are they with the Government or from the University? Light shifts among the trees and an urgent voice becomes ever more persistent. What is it trying to say?
Blue Invasion is a site-specific installation throughout Hyde Park North, created by renowned international artist Tony Oursler. Oursler conceived the work as a kind of ‘psycho-landscape’, delving into our fascination with, and fears of, life beyond the stars. The accompanying soundscape, reminiscent of an auditory hallucination, brings together Oursler’s long-time collaborators, noted US composer Tony Conrad and actor Constance DeJong.
Based in New York, Tony Oursler is one of the pioneers of new media art. Since the mid-1970s he has used video technology to simulate and expose the predicaments of contemporary consciousness - its emotions, desires and pathologies. His work has been shown at the world’s major festivals, biennales and museums, including the Tate Modern in London, the Museum of Modern Art in New York and the Centre Georges Pompidou in Paris.
Tony Oursler present[ed] an illustrated lecture exploring the influence of media on our perception and the desire to reimagine ourselves through technology at the Museum of Contemporary Art at January 8.
We played a few Tracks from the tony oursler cd, which is a soundtrack to his hyde park multimedia theatre piece "blue invasion":
Track 1 "red"
Track 7 "Black"
and in keeping with the theme of "colours" we played 2 tracks from

Ken nordine cd "colors" from 1966:
" Ecru" (like the colour of bandaids - see and search within that page for the word "ecru" you will see what i am talking about)
"beige" "about as ordinary as you can get away with seeing is the grey way beige likes to have things being"

til next week!!
x lucazoid

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Saving the Weld

Ever dreamt of seeing an art critic expose themeselves to the gut wrenching angst that is an exhibition?

Ever wanted to be able to say what you really thought of an art exhibition, but were afraid to in case the artist overheard?

Well! this wednesday 11th january YOU CAN indulge both fantasies at Mori Gallery, 168 Day Street Sydney.

A large extravaganza on art that can save the world opens from 6-8pm; All " rooms and the corridor will feature exhibitions from Adam Gzecky, Zanny Begg and Catherine rogers.

In the spirit of critical Dyslexia for which she is renowned, Margaret Mayhew from art and mayhem is participating in a show entitled "Saving the Weld".... hell it sounds the same doesn't it?

"Saving the Weld" is inspired by the The Weld Valley Preserve for World Heritage and features the Black Sassy Collective, plus ANNA BELHALFAOUI, HANNA HILDENBRAND and MARGARET MAYHEW.

All three artists went to Tasmania on a reconnaissance mission to hnt down the brave eco warriers who are usiuing a combination of art, science and ecotourism to halt the napalming of Tasmanias southern forests. Yep. Napalming. The forests are burnt off and leftover timber is harvested and pulped for $18 a tonne.Its not for profit, just sheer stupidity. the blockaders have been fined $25,000 each for trespassing, which is more money than forestry tasmania will get for pulping the lot....... weird huh?

anyway, since Anna and Margaret are jetsetters, they are in PAris and won't be around to witness the critical discern,ent of the sydney public. So come along, chekc out the work§ disparage our skills! disparage our intent! buy the work and BURN IT IN THE GALLERY!!!!! the money goes to a good cause and you can have a good release!

This wednesday!



Wednesday, January 04, 2006

January - Virtual News

Today's moral is that we are never where we think we are.

I'm typing this from an arab spaking internet cafe in the western suburbs of Paris but nonetheless feel capable of interforming people of the Sydney art scene.

Fristly: Lucazoid's radio summary

Today we had mickie quick in the studio to talk about his participation in the gang festival, a huge indonesian/australian exchange project taking place in chippendale during january. the dates are 12-29 of january, and all the details are at:

i also did a shout out for the upcoming theNownow festival of spontaneous music, which will this year feature a full programme of experimental films curated by joel stern from brisbane.

finally, we plugged the first draft gallery's call out for artists in residence, and also their emerging curator programme. both these opportunities close 23 january, so get your proposal in quick! details are at: Deadline is January 23rd and vut and paste is below

Next week I'm doing a star act by being absent from my own show. anna and I have a duop thing with Hannah and some others at Mori Gallery. Its all in aid of saving the Weld valley forest in southern tasmania 6 whihc is being napalmed to malke way for 'renewable' pulp planations - we've got films comics, paintings & other stuff. Its part of a multi room politically aware extravaganza opening on Wed 11th January. The art stars include Adam Gzesky, Zanny Begg and Catherine Rogers.

There's also a cool show of pathwork secrets opening in Bathrust next friday. At the warpstanzA - home of the best coffee west of the blue mountains.

Emerging Curator Program

Emerging curators are invited to submit curatorial proposals for an exhibition at Firstdraft in 2006.

The Emerging Curator Program has been developed to provide much needed support for emerging and experimental curatorial practice in Australia, and to generate exhibitions that promote critical discussion and opportunity for emerging artists.

Firstdraft will provide the successful applicant with:

* a fully subsidised three-week exhibition in the whole gallery, including promotion and opening costs

* funds for an exhibition catalogue

* funds towards exhibition costs

* access to Firstdraft's equipment resources

This program is supported by the NSW Ministry for the Arts,

Applications due 6pm Monday January 23 2006

Emerging Artist Studio Program

Proposals are invited from emerging artists for the first round of the 2006 Studio Program.

The Studio Program facilitates the aesthetic and critical practice of emerging artists, and provides a studio and exhibition venue that is supportive, professional and dynamic. In 2006 the program will be expanded by the subdivision of the studio space, allowing two studio artists to use the space concurrently.

Firstdraft will provide the successful applicant with:

* a studio space on the ground floor of Firstdraft for eleven weeks

* a three-week exhibition at Firstdraft upon completion of the program

* documentation of their exhibition

* an artist’s fee for exhibiting

The Firstdraft Emerging Artist Studio Program is assisted by the Australian Government through the Australia Council for the Arts, its arts funding and advisory body.

Applications due 6pm Monday January 23 2006

For further information and application forms to email


For media enquiries contact Kathryn Gray


116-118 Chalmers St, Surry Hills NSW 2010

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